Adventures in Fatherhood

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Choosing Challenges

I want to tell you about a recent experience I had that was challenging and fun. I’ve always been curious about body building and people who compete in that world. It is a world where you are judged exclusively on your looks and physique. However, the level that some of these men and women get to is unbelievable. It is vanity on steroids and sometimes also literally steroids but it is also a big accomplishment. It requires a lot of focus, dedication and discipline. 


The way that our bodies can be manipulated by science is extremely fascinating. The field of science is beyond me but for trainers and fitness experts it is their livelihood. So looking to them for guidance is the best way to make effective athletic changes to your body. You don't know what you don't know but if you don't seek to know then you won't grow.  


Earlier this year I chose to hire a fitness trainer. Something I hadn’t done in almost a decade. I’ve worked with trainers in the past and had good results but never had a specific goal in mind other than to get into “better shape”. Over COVID I had become complacent in my fitness goals and lifestyle. I needed a new challenge and wanted to see what I could accomplish with my own body. I wanted to see how far I could push myself, get healthier, and into “better shape”. 


I knew I needed a refresher on fitness and reached out to a long time friend who had opened a virtual training company at the start of COVID from the other side of the world. 


After a few months of training, she and I decided to really press it and put me to the test. She put me on a schedule that would result in a taste of what bodybuilders go through when training for a show that would culminate in a photo shoot with a fitness photographer. 


It was very much out of my comfort zone. It felt ostentatious to say the least. I’m not someone who is shy but I tend to be on the more modest side in my appearance. I knew however, I needed to be pushed. 


Sometimes we need cheerleaders in our lives to encourage us and sometimes critics to keep us humble and in check. What I needed was a coach and that is exactly why I hired Joy as mine. I needed someone to push me out of my comfort zone and that is what good coaches do best - see your potential and help you become a better version of yourself. 


I was a little nervous and at times even a little doubtful but I was determined to at least complete the process. I knew that it would take months to get to a fitness level that I felt comfortable revealing a more intimate piece of myself but also felt it would be a good exercise in patience and fortitude. Physical muscles were not the only ones I needed to develop.


In that time I went through a lot of changes and struggles. Many of them were good and some of them not so much. I started a new job, bought a new home, lost a relationship and was now putting my body through a rigorous and exhausting undertaking of growth. I was changing almost every aspect of my life all at once. Change is already a difficult process when it creeps up on us. So when we choose to go through change in life, it can be a bold step in trust. In my case, trusting myself, my coach and the process. 


As things started to get really difficult I had to dig into my strength reserves to keep going. For me it was kind of like my Iron Man. I understand why people want to complete triathlons even though I haven’t had the desire. The feeling of accomplishment is a great feeling for people who are intrinsically motivated.  


But these were short term moments of being uncomfortable. The mindset of delayed gratification is one that champions and the highest performers tend to have. Postponing an immediate gain for a greater reward is what wins championships. I wasn’t competing for any sort of championship but working on developing that mindset is like building mental muscles. In order to do that I had to put myself through a process to gain something I wanted more than what I wanted now. 


That's what gains are all about. Gaining muscles or a new kind of strength and for me, the gains came in feeling healthier and accomplished. I wanted to do something challenging and new. Choosing a challenge that I would enjoy (and at times think why the fuck am I doing this?) would only improve my life in a variety of ways. 


What I want to impart on you as a reader is, 


1) You can do it. By “it”, I mean whatever it is that you’re wanting to face, try, explore or do. It could be a business, an Iron Man, a new skill or new relationship. Whatever it is, the first step you take towards it is the most important one but you have to take it. 


2) Start with your health. We just went through the worst year in decades and the takeaway is individual well being. There is a worldwide disease that is destroying our health. People's mental, physical, emotional and financial well being are being ruined through this and so reclaiming and refocusing them should be your number one priority. It doesn’t have to be extreme but it should be difficult. That is where positive change comes from.


3) Seek help. We live in a knowledge economy. It's okay if you don't know how to do something specific. There is so much information to consume on a daily basis that it’s impossible to just keep up with what's happening in the local news, let alone learn a new skill or choose a new challenge. Hiring a business coach, tutor, fitness trainer, mentor or life coach is an effective and efficient way to get where you want to be. 


There is a saying that goes: if you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far go together. A good coach will push you, support you and train you so that you can accomplish whatever challenge you see fit. And if the challenge is to be fit then I’ve got some recommendations for you. So, as we approach the end of the year, be sure to get ready for a new one full of whatever change you decide you need and start taking the steps toward a healthier you. The starting line is now and you get to say “go”.