Every night I put my daughters to bed we have the same routine. I read and then sing three songs. They each pick a song, and I pick one. I do this for a number of reasons. It helps control the song choices as well as arguments over who gets to pick “Lion King” or “Jasmine”. There is one song that is almost always requested, never argued over and the one I’ve been singing to both of them since the day I first held them in my arms. “The 59th Street Bridge Song” by Simon And Garfunkel or “Feeling Groovy” as it is more commonly known. 

I remember hearing the song for the first time on Solid Gold Oldies radio 96.5 FM as a kid. It has always reminded me of my dad who introduced me to the music of the 1960’s and 1970’s. It is a song that as a child gave me comfort and served as a lesson to be mindful. The tracks subtle beauty and simple messages are a reminder of how we need to be more mindful in our daily life...“Slow down, you move too fast. You’ve got to make the morning last”.  

If you have met either of my girls you know Sarah goes 100 miles a minute and Clare is always thinking five steps ahead. I love these qualities in them but as I get older, I think back to all of those small moments where I was so focused on what was next or like Sarah, moved at a pace so fast, I never reflected on what was happening in the present moment. 

I recently read a great book called 10% Happier by Dan Harris. He wrote that in continually striving for the next best fix, whether it be that meal, party, deal at work, romantic night out, vacation, etc that “the pursuit of happiness, becomes the source of our unhappiness”. I have seen that throughout my life. This insatiable appetite for life that I have is one of my best characteristics but it also holds me back from enjoying what is around me or being content with the things I already have. 

As a father, I cannot wait to share the next fun experience with my girls. Their first trip to Disneyland, teaching them how to ride a bike, taking them camping, exposing them to the greater world. These are all events I plan to experience with them but making sure I remember that the moment we are in now, is good enough. I am teaching them the importance of being the best version of themselves in each and every second and how that makes a difference in your day, week, month, or year. Disneyland will always be there, but I cannot let the time we have together be taken for granted. That is what makes life worth living. 

As The 59th Street Bridge Song progresses, my favorite line is toward the end. It is simple but when you listen to Paul Simon sing the song, he paints a picture of the benefits of taking the time to stop and smell the roses, he says, “Life I love you, all is groovy”. I look at this as a recipe for happiness. Like the previous thoughts from Dan Harris about the pursuit of happiness. When we live in the moment and recognize the beauty around us, we can fall in love with life and contentment becomes a standard. 

As parents we want our kids to have better lives than we did. Not to make the same mistakes as us and create their own path in life. This gets murky though when we think about the things we want for them and then push them into that direction. I want my girls to achieve greatness and I believe that they will. But defining that greatness is where problems occur. Placing a title or thing to that achievement does not allow for them to create their own happiness. It puts an expectation on success that is determined by standards that maybe they don’t feel compelled by. I do not want them to pursue happiness. I want them to know that happiness is already here. It is waiting for them in every moment. They don’t need to find it, they just need to be able to recognize what it looks like. So that is why I sing “Slow Down”. As people we move too fast and then we pass by the best parts of life. 

That is what mindfulness is about. It sounds like an easy premise but in reality it is extremely difficult. When I am successful in being present with the people around me and not thinking about the future or worrying about the past, I not only don’t regret it, I gain more perspective. 

We live in such a fast paced world with so many distractions. Being bored is not even an option. What I have discovered in my life though is that mindfulness changes the idea of boredom. I am never bored, it doesn’t exist. I have too many responsibilities for one but the more in the moment I am the list of distractions starts to stack up and I have unlimited options of entertainment or “to do’s” that I’ll never complete.

How do you teach this idea to children though? Kids need guidance. So it is on us as parents to help them along. I don’t know what the answer is but I do know what has worked for me. I practice and then recognize it in them when I see it. Too often Clare throws a fit because she wants to watch a movie when we get home from school or eat candy after dinner. Of course these are normal things for kids to want but I can also see the compulsive need or craving for more in them. I want to feed that beast when it comes to drive and motivation but at the same time, I want them to know how to tame their own beast inside. Establishing good habits in self control will give them the ability to accomplish so much more. 

“Feeling Groovy” is derived from the Queensboro Bridge in New York City and its noisy and chaotic nature served as part of the inspiration and backdrop to the tune. Along with its folksy sound and easy melody, it is a timeless classic from the duo’s famous album Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme. My guess is that Simon never intended for the song to serve as a spiritual or meditative guide for anyone however, for me it has been a helpful way to express those thoughts to my children. I try to recognize those instances and apply mindfulness as much as I can. I am sure I will miss plenty of opportunities to do so; but like anything, the more I practice the better I get at it. Until I get it right, I’ll always have a song to sing to myself and my girls as a reminder to “Slow down”.