Maggie and Me

“The more we value things, the less we value ourselves” - Bruce Lee

The Colorado Trail ends segment six and picks up segment seven on the long stretch of road that leads into the mountain town of Breckenridge, Colorado. My first zero day was everything that I needed and more. I walked into town around 8:00 am and found the first breakfast place I could. I ordered enough food for a small family and at every single bite. I now had  24 hours to do everything I needed to do. I bathed, I slept, I fucked, I drank, I ate some more, I did my laundry and I restocked my food supply. Veni, vidi vici. 

The currency of the trail is food, water and miles. But everything is measured in distance and time. While you can trade, share and buy food from other hikers along the trail, and water is fairly readily available, miles are the only thing you are required to earn. No one can do it for you and each day you have to assess how many you can handle. At the end of the day you take inventory of what you accomplished and compare it to how many you have left to finish a segment or to a nearby town or to the end of the trail. While the trail itself is broken up into 28 different segments. I had broken up my journey into five main parts. Waterton Canyon to Breckenridge which I had just accomplished. The next stretch would be one with my companion and adorable pointer/terrier mix Maggie - This stretch consisted of 4 days and 66 miles with her. My partner Melina had made the trip from Denver and dropped off Maggie, meeting me later that week at a trailhead to take her back and bring a few more supplies. From there I would enter the Collegiate Peaks Wilderness to the town of Salida. The fourth section would be my most challenging - 100 miles in 4 days which would get me to the final stretch through the San Juan Mountain Range. That section was the part I was most looking forward to. I had heard alot about this part of the trail and that it was one of the most scenic. I had a long journey ahead of me but the first 100 miles had instilled a sense of confidence and excitement for what was to come. 

I remembered Ungerwear saying something about a town vortex. A practice where hikers take a zero day (a day of hiking that consists of zero miles) and easily convince themselves to take an extra day or a few days and before long the idea of getting back on the trail becomes more daunting. For some, it doesn’t take long to be reminded of the luxuries of life and the next thing you know, you’re booking a ticket home or spending a week in a town as your window of opportunity slowly closes. 

My 24 hours in town was a blur. But halfway through I understood what he meant about the vortex. The beer was too good, the food too satisfying and afterall cleanliness is next to godliness. The feeling of a shower was the greatest of all the luxuries. The more comfortable I got, the more anxious I got thinking about the trail looming over me. 

The next morning came fast and while I didn’t want to leave the comforts of town, I was excited to get going and even more so to have Maggie with me and her companionship during the long stretches of hiking alone. Melina dropped us off around 7:00 am at the start of the segment and the goal was to hike through to segment 8. We pulled into the sunny parking lot, said our goodbyes when I saw Campfire start up the trail. 

Two hours in and one of the most brutal elevation climbs later, I began to reevaluate everything. I’d forgotten how light my pack had gotten over time as I ate through my food. In town I was so proud of myself for ditching a bunch of gear that I hadn’t used or felt was unnecessary. I had a camping stool I didn’t need, of course the umbrella was the first thing to go and I threw away those goddamn hemp socks with pleasure. At the grocery store I stocked up. I got all kinds of food which added up and I was now feeling the literal weight of my decisions as I heaved myself up the incline that didn’t seem to end. It took all morning to get up the side of the mountain that overlooks the town. While beautiful, it felt as if I hadn’t made any progress even despite hiking for a good three hours. I eventually reached the peak where some of the chair lifts for the ski resort rest on a ridge. The idea that I could have theoretically ridden a ski lift up to where I stood was the trail's way of smiling and giving me a middle finger.

But… the  top was magical. And when I looked out over the trail in the distance from where I had once come, it was worth it. I could see Keystone, Breckenridge and Copper ski resorts all from one point. The familiarity of the slopes at each one gave me a sense of comfort that I was home in this great vast wilderness. 

We made our descent down the other side and what would you know? To my surprise the unmistakable bright yellow hooded shirt that I easily recognized was marching up towards me. 

“Where are you coming from?” I said with a smile and laugh to Ungerwear as he stopped to catch his breath with a grin. The rest of the crew were in tow. I had seen most of them the day before in town so for them to be coming the opposite direction on the trail had me thinking I was losing my mind. 

“We are slackpacking!” Ellie called out. I didn’t know what that meant but learned that it refers to hiking without carrying a full backpack or with a significantly lighter load. Oftentimes it involves a support vehicle transporting the majority of gear so you can cover more distance with less weight. I’m sure there are all kinds of additional details and varieties but I wasn’t super interested in the concept. I wanted to hike from Denver to Durango. 

“We took a shuttle to the other side and are hiking this stretch back over to Breckenridge.” 

“Why?” 

“A few people needed to take it easy and so we are treating this like a day hike and will spend another night in town before continuing on” he said. 

It didn’t make much sense to me but then it didn’t need to. Hike your own hike as they say along the trail. My journey was my own and while I envied the idea of being close to civilization I was ready to carry on. 

We said our farewells and I had the sense that I’d be seeing most of them again at some point. Ungerwear was like a magician who often appeared out of nowhere as if he had a portal to everywhere along the trail that he wanted. 

At the bottom of the mountain Maggie and I met up with Campfire at a stream where we spent part of the warm afternoon soaking our feet. Maggie found some shade in the grass and slept. While she and I had hiked many peaks and trails over the years, I realized her little legs were not as accustomed to the long days and she would be tired more quickly. 

The next part of the afternoon would be spent going through Copper Ski Resort. Walking under chair lifts and through the trees felt weird. Why would the trail go through this? As much as I enjoyed the change of scenery, something about it felt off. I passed a group ten feet to my left teeing off on the golf course. A little further down was a maintenance shed with a handful of golf carts outside. A group of college guys came barreling down the trail on their mountain bikes ``bro! Those mushrooms are really kicking in right now!” one of them yelled out as I barely got out of the way of the stampede. 

At first I didn't love that I was hiking through Copper but the reality is that most of the trail is empty and secluded and lonely. To have a section that feels like your sightseeing made for a cool and different perspective.

I heard a soft rumble of thunder and Maggie gave a small whine. A tinge of anxiety crept up my spine as I thought about the last storm I was caught in and how miserable it was to hike in heavy rain. I put Maggie's green raincoat on and bundled up my pack with its cover seconds before a full downpour arrived. 

We made it another few miles to Union Gulch and I decided to call it a day. She and I had trekked 16 miles and I felt that was a good start for her first day out on the Colorado Trail. We spotted a site right off the trail near a small waterfall and nestled under a large canopy of trees where I could set up the tent protected from the rain. A woman with silver hair passed by and a few minutes later Campfire caught up and found a spot. 

I woke up the next morning feeling tired and cold and groggy. I had slept terribly due to continual dreams about a bear attacking me. It wasn’t even an interesting dream about bears. It was banal and typical. No bears with roller skates or made of rainbow colored fur, just regular old bears endlessly poking their nose into the tent looking for food, finding me and biting my arm. It was one of those repeating dreams, like a loop, or the movie Groundhog Day, enough to drive you crazy. 

In Colorado there are only black bears and they typically are not the mauling people kind, not that they couldn't or wouldn’t tear a hiker like me apart rather that they typically do not pose nearly as big of a threat as the brown ones that live in places like the great northern beyond. Brown bears are absolutely terrifying. Brown bears or grizzlies as they are more commonly known- did at one point in time- inhabit the Colorado Rocky Mountains. The Denver Museum of Nature and Science has a few Grizzlys on display from Chimney Rock that were donated in 1913. The last known grizzly was killed in 1979 by a hunting guide from Moffat, Colorado named Ed Wiseman. Mr. Wiseman came across the beast on an expedition near the headwaters of the Navajo River and was brutally attacked. He was able to survive by killing the bear with an arrowhead and his…. bare… hands… pun intended. 

As if being attacked by a grizzly and killing it with nothing but a single arrow wasn’t enough, Ed was then put through a seven month investigation to determine if he had indeed acted in self defense. Unfortunately for good ol Ed, four years prior the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service added the grizzly bear as a threatened animal to the 1973 Endangered Species Act. So killing one of the most powerful and ferocious animals on the planet with nothing but a small piece of metal was tantamount to poaching in the eyes of the law. 

I wasn’t worried about grizzlies and as the vividness of my dreams slowly wore off I was no longer worried about black bears. However, my anxiety was refreshed by the sounds of the coyotes once again yelping in the distance like war cries. Maggie perked up and started whining and shivering. I held her in my sleeping bag as the wails slowly died in the distance until she calmed down. 

We got up and did our morning routine. I was starting to get the hang of cleaning up my campsite quickly and efficiently. I had a system down and felt like I was really starting to get into a groove. 

As we wandered along the trail, my mind began to wander to all kinds of random thoughts. I started to think about how a week of thinking and conversations with myself had been great at first. Now I was kind of running out of things to think about. It was like my mind had run out of gas.

For some reason I thought about an experience that happened earlier that summer. I needed to get quarters which was something I rarely need and so I went to the bank. When I asked the teller for $20 in quarters she told me she could only give $10. Slightly stunned and wondering if she was joking I looked around and gave her a ‘you’re kidding me right?’ look. “What do you mean?” I clarified.

“I mean that we aren’t able to give out more than $10 in quarters because there is a coin shortage” she responded with a tone that sounded like this was an obvious fact. 

“This is the bank.” I said incredulously. “How many people are coming in here to get quarters?” I thought to myself. I couldn’t remember the last time I needed quarters and here I was at the one place that is supposed to have them and they don't. “Well there is a coin shortage” she repeated with a tone. I gave her a blank stare and took what was available and left. 

Why had that bothered me so much? Of all of the things to get fired up about it was so small and meaningless and yet I had let it get to me. I think partly because I didn’t want to make the trip to get quarters in the first place. So to arrive to a multibillion dollar company that has one fucking job (to hold my money in whatever form I need it in) felt like an example of how corporate america is allowed to fail forward. When the airlines did a shitty job during the pandemic - they got bailed out. When the financial institutions fail due to the economic circumstances they created - they get bailed out. I just needed quarters and the banker telling me “sorry there is a coin shortage” made me begin to question who is steering this ship. 

Coin shortage. Get the fuck out of here. 

But now I’m angry. I was having a beautiful morning, hiking in the sun with my dog and never felt more free. But I’m stewing and pissed about an event that happened months ago and no longer matters. 

Carrying on. I passed Janet's Cabin. Mental note - remember to look into booking Janets Cabin

Janets Cabin is a beautiful log cabin that rests below the Searle Pass and is a decent hike past the Copper resort. It is run by the 10th Mountain Division Hut Association and is dedicated to the memory of Janet Boyd Tyler who was a Vail resident and outdoor enthusiast.  

Me and Maggie made our way over the pass and then on to Kokomo Pass. I thought about what you’re probably thinking right now. Aruba. Jamaica… I sang the tune over and over in my head and out loud as I climbed in the blistering morning sun. It was cold but the sun was intense. 

On the way back down we crossed a bridge next to a large waterfall. There was a family of three looking down into the pool at the bottom of the falls. I noticed a gun holstered on the dads hip. It made me acutely aware of him and his gun. I didn’t think he was dangerous but it did make me think about danger. A gun was something that I did not consider bringing with me but as I thought about it, it occurred to me that I was very vulnerable without one. Damn I would hate to be in a situation where I needed one. I thought about my friend Matt who always sends me news stories about people getting murdered in the woods or stories about hikers getting attacked. The wilderness can be a dangerous place. I need to be careful but I also need to negate that energy and thinking. 

We finished our descent and came to the bottom of the mountain where the trail turned into a long gravel road. In the distance I could see a large white tent with a handful of cars and what looked like a gathering of people. As we got closer I could see it was some sort of event that struck me as odd considering we were in the middle of nowhere. As we ventured closer, my mouth started salivating, I could see tables full of all kinds of foods and snacks. Giant bowls full of M&M’s, energy gels, watermelon, Gatorades stacked in cases 10 high. I felt like Charlie the first time he walked into Wonka’s Factory. The women attending the tables said hello and of course were instantly transfixed on Maggie who’s tail wagged wildly as all of the attention went straight to her. 

“Oh my god! Hi sweet doggie!” they all cooed and squatted down to pet her. 

“What’s all this?” I asked 

“It’s called the TransRockies Race. It's a 120 mile long distance run from Buena Vista to Beaver Creek”. 

We chatted about the race as I eyed the bowls of candy and food greedily. Desperately hoping they’d offer something. 

I looked out at the trail where the racers were slowly starting to come down from the other side of the valley and into the tented area. Some of them looked destroyed and others looked like Olympic athletes. I imagined I looked somewhere in between them. Finally, one of the women told me to help myself to the snack. I did my best to act casual, holding back my urge to take the bowl of M&M’s and dump it into my pockets and mouth. “Thanks” I said, acting as if I’d  thought about the offer but wasn’t quite sure if I’d take her up on it. The women turned to the oncoming racers and cheered them on. Giving them high fives and encouragement. The comfort of calories and the event made me want to stay. The winding trail that weaved up the side of the next mountain looked exhausting and long. Reluctance washed over me. I wanted to be done. 

I filled my pockets with M&M’s when no one was looking and Maggie and I ventured on. It was a weird feeling because I was now hiking from the finish line of the race as people filtered toward me. I felt as if I was somehow violating their route. As if I was imposing on their property. “Why is that? I thought to myself? There is no claim to this trail? It's as much mine as it is theirs. But where did this feeling come from? 

I started thinking about the outdoor culture and how pretentious and possessive it can be at times. Or this exclusiveness that comes with language around native and how many generations someone has been here. I think it can be important to admire and be proud of where you are from but at the same time to act as if it's a badge of honor is a little much. Congratulations on being born somewhere. It's not like you did anything for it. Also, I’m pretty sure that unless your name is Chipeta then you’re not native. 

Again, though, why was my mind continually going to these negative places. I should be focusing on this experience. Each one of those thoughts takes the place of a thought I could have about the people I love, my friends or things that inspire me and here I was ruminating on bears, dangerous people and petty identities.   

The climb was gradual and the more I climbed the busier the trail got with runners. There would be one or two every few minutes or so and then there was a rush. Lots of people running down hill, it was a race after all and it was kind of fun to be amidst it. I could feel the excitement and energy pass off to me. They looked happy and healthy and like it was really hard. Each person that passed however, lit up with a smile when they saw Maggie wagging her tail and looking up at them. 

Maggie has been an angel to our family. Like all pets are, she is special and makes life so much better. I remember the day we got her. I had been looking for a puppy for the girls and I to get and hadn’t found anything that called to me. So one morning we went out to Golden for an adoption event. We walked in and in the middle was a large kennel with a brand new litter of puppies. They looked like little mini chows or something. They were fluff balls all bouncing around and my two daughters instantly ran to the tangled mess of puppy love. I asked the adoption teams what the story was with the litter and they said that they had just rescued them a few days ago but they couldn’t be taken home today. I let the girls play in the middle and then looked to my right to see a black and white puppy that looked so sad in its cage. I asked if I could hold her and the moment she draped her paws on my shoulders I knew it was the dog we were getting. 

Over time Maggie has become one of the best part of our lives. She is sweet and happy and protective. About a year later I was at Cheesman Park with the girls on the playground. Maggie was tied up to a bench and the girls were swinging. I went to go use the porta potty which was a little farther than I was comfortable with but still within eyesight and earshot of the girls. When I came out, I could hear Maggie aggressively barking and on her hind legs as the leash held her back. My daughter Clare stood there a little confused and slightly scared as an unhinged man was taunting Maggie and getting closer to my daughter. I instantly ran over to the guy “Hey! Get the fuck out of here! What the fuck are you doing!?” I yelled as I walked directly towards him. I was ready to make a scene and ready to let Maggie off that leash if the he didn’t instantly turn around. 

Lucky Clare wasn’t shaken up. I think she was more confused by the whole thing but I can’t imagine what could have happened had Maggie not been there to sense something and protect my daughter. Maggie is definitely going to heaven. 

The day wore on and eventually I made it to the spot where the runners would no longer be coming down the trail. My Far Out app told me to cross the railroad tracks and back to a more quiet and lonely part of the trail. 

“One more mile”. I would tell myself as my legs were exhausted and ready to wear out. I came out near more 10th Division Huts and the end of the segment. I felt I needed to go a little farther even though the idea of starting a new segment felt daunting. 

Regardless I only needed to get started and find the first camp site I could. I heard some voices and then saw the familiar faces of the Minnesota Trio. I was so excited to see them. I made my way over to where they had set up camp and found Brad poking a stick at the ground. It was good to see him too and he was equally excited to be out on the trail. The kind of energy I needed to be around after the long day. “Where did you find a dog!”? Ned said in surprise and amazement.

I shrugged and just said that she found me.