Is this one of those moments? One where I decide on who I am going to be? I’ve heard the phrase the two most important days in life are the day you’re born and the day you find out why. I’ve wondered many times if that moment happens over and over for us. We are born new in every moment of every day.

So, the day where you find out you were born to run or born to be wild are defining. Life is about rediscovering your purpose. Sometimes its about rediscovering your purpose. My purpose in life was vastly different before having kids than it is now. And there are tines where I still don’t understand my role in this world.

But this is a new stage in life. The new normal. We must ask ourselves as a society who are we going to be? Are we going to lose our values? Are we going to give up the virtues that hold us together because of a virus or are we going to be more than that?

I love seeing the videos and images of people on their balconies sharing light. Keeping love alive and community vibrant. That is what we need in these times. I don’t mean to be gloom and doom but this is dark shit. Right now, things are difficult. There are a lot of people out there in need and hurting and things are going to get worse before they get better.

One of my favorite quotes is from the Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas, “life is a storm. You’ll be basking in the sunlight in one minute and crashed upon the rocks in the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes.”

There is a storm coming and we must ask ourselves who are we going to be? As individuals? As Americans, as Coloradans, As Denverites, as Capitol Hillians. We need to be there for each other. We need to be the best we can be because the worst is going to give us its best. I know we can win. That I am confident of. Being a light for those who need it when its darkest is a great gift we can share with our fellow man. I am talking to myself here. I am asking, what kind of Paul do I want to be in this?

I find myself very lost in all of it which is a very uncomfortable feeling for me. I don’t like it but it’s the reality and so finding my compass more than ever is a big priority. I can espouse the values of life that I want to see in the world but unless I live by them myself. I am nothing of a man.

I must be strong for my daughters. They need me now more than ever to help them navigate the world. Because it is about to change. A lot. I don’t’ get political anymore. I have been on the extreme of both sides in my life and now and I feel like I’m too young to be wasting my energy on these blundering fools.

But they are in charge. We need them to be the best they can be. We also need to hold them accountable now more than ever. This is an election year and the president is still on the job. He needs to be focused on doing the right thing. The very hint of him worrying about election is a stench to my nostrils. Who is he going to be in all of this? What values will he live by? When things get difficult and nasty. That is when we see the real underbelly of people emerge. Who is he going to emerge as? A hero? A despot? A figure of hope? The leader the people need him to be or the one fixed in his own image?

If you’re a doomsdayer, a hippy, a democrat or republican. We need to put those down and remember that we are in this together whether we like it or not. We need to be there for our neighbors and community. Otherwise we are going to have much to regret.

What am I doing in all of this? Who am I? I’ve seen sides of me come out that I don’t like. I don’t want to get caught up in all of this but also, I can’t help but be swept away by it. Like the current of the stream below me as I write these words.

 It’s a peaceful day with a slight chill. I am sitting on the steps of the Platte River in downtown Denver. I’m watching people as they walk, run and bike by and I can feel their thoughts. Everything centered around one topic.  Meanwhile, Winter here is trying to hold on for dear life. She knows she has some power left but ultimately her season of reign has come to an end.

And what a time for us to be able to emerge into this new world. The freshness of life. The renewal of spring. We have an opportunity to ride the cycle of life right now. Utilize her newness to give birth to light and joy. Let her guide us to the beauty of another day where we can be the men and women we were meant to be.

So, we can be more than just that tiny spec floating out in the universe. Because, we are still on this planet and we are still revolving around the sun at 67,000 miles per hour through the cosmos. The sun still burns on the other planets and we are tiny nothing in the scale of the universe. So let’s make a new big bang and show the universe what we can be rather than just accepting the new normal.